The Healing Power of Dogs
Over the years I have been witness to and experienced the overwhelming grief that a death can bring to those left behind. I have also seen and experienced how the comfort of a dog can help the long, slow healing process.
Jenni has been our neighbor for the past 12 years and we have watched her grow from a little girl into a lovely young woman. She has taken care of all of our critters off and on over the years, most recently this past August while we were away for ten days. We were delighted when, last year, she introduced us to her fiancé, Richard. Richard was a kind, steady, delightful young man and the perfect counterbalance to Jenni’s vivacious personality. They were to be married this April.In early December, Richard was tragically killed in an automobile accident. Not knowing what else to offer in the way of comfort, I told Jenni she could take one of the older dogs if she needed comforting, but didn’t want to be around people. After all the funeral arrangements had been made and she could finally be at home, she came and took Sadie for the night. The next day she told me it helped immeasurably. Sadie is 90 pounds of comfort and compassion, her lab/golden mix giving her an intuitiveness that can sometimes be spooky. It was a good choice.
Fast forward to today. Early this afternoon I got a call from Jenni asking if she could borrow one of the girls. I knew instantly she was having one of those terrible days that take you by surprise. Grief is a funny thing. Once you are past the first wave, you begin the arduous task of creating a new normal for your life. And you can be going along, sad but otherwise okay, and get blindsided with a wave of gut wrenching grief that seems to come out of nowhere. This is what has hit dear Jenni today. When Jenni came over, I assumed Sadie would be her comforter. What happened next shocked me and is a bit hard to explain, but I will try. Because my dogs have all known Jenni their entire lives, they all adore her, hence the chaos when she came through the door. Now, my older two, Sadie and Sonagh, do not jump on people. Ever. (Wally, the puppy…well, we are till working on the jumping thing.) I couldn’t believe it when Sonagh jumped up on Jenni and niffled her ear! (She is almost as tall as Jenni!) For the next ten minutes while Jenni and I talked, Sonagh was completely focused on her. Like a laser beam! This is very uncharacteristic of Sonagh. She usually greets guests, gets her pats, then wanders off. I told Jenni that I had thought Sadie would be the dog to go with her, however, it looked like Sonagh had chosen herself as Jenni’s comforter today. Sonagh didn’t even move when I opened the closet to get out some dog food for Jenni to take! LOL! Most days all you have to do is walk past that closet and Sonagh is there, hoping it might be dinner time. Even as I got her leash and collar ready, she stayed calm and focused on Jenni. Leashes and collars create anticipation and hence excitement in our house and, as expected, Wally and Sadie started prancing about…but Sonagh, again completely out of character, just stayed by Jenni’s side, calm as could be. As I watched them leave, Sonagh ambled alongside of Jenni, none of her usually ‘leading the parade’ behavior. Again, completely focused on Jenni. I spoke to Jenni’s mother, Marilyn, a little while ago to make sure Sonagh was settling in okay. Marilyn said Sonagh had come downstairs to greet her when she came home, but when she turned around after hanging up her coat, Sonagh was already back upstairs in Jenni’s bedroom. As we spoke, Sonagh was laying outside the bathroom door waiting for Jenni to get out of the shower. It is odd not having Sonagh here and I look forward to her returning later tonight or tomorrow morning. But I know my lovely chocolate girl is giving Jenni the comfort she needs during this intensely sad time. Jenni just called to tell me that Sonagh is snuggled up with her on the bed. She was calling to say thank you. She is already sounding better. Dogs are such a blessing. They can heal the soul in ways no human can.
